From Despair to Repair - Analysis - Children
From Despair to Repair...?
Analysis - Children
The majority of participants (82%) had children and a further 3% were currently pregnant. The majority had 2 children, the number of children ranged from 1 child to 5 children. The age of the children varied from a few months to 57 years. The majority of children were aged between 1 and 15 years.
"My child heard and saw some of the violence. Now she has some behaviour problems at school and has a tendency to hit her dolls"
Did they see what happened?
80% of the children were known to have witnessed the abuse and participant's felt that what they witnessed had affected them.
"He didn't act any differently when I was pregnant - some violence. I was constantly on edge trying to stop the abuse before it erupted in front of the kids"
"My eldest child is very rude and abusive, and has severe behavioural problems - he copies what he has seen"
Signs that the children were suffering from their experience as identified by the participants included:
- Temper tantrums
- Distrust and fear of adults including police officers
- Bed wetting
- Being withdrawn
- Problems with attachment
- Aggression
- General upset
- Fear
- Problems sleeping
- Depression
- Self harming
- Violence to others either children of adults
- Behavioural difficulties
- School bullying
Participants felt that these signs were a direct cause of the abuse they had witnessed.
"I have repeatedly asked for counselling for the children and not been successful"
"The children have had an awful life, I feel it's my fault"
However, those that identified their child or children had received help was low (39%).
Reasons for the lack of help included:
- The parent dealt with the problems themselves usually by discussing the experiences with the child.
- Not being able to access help.
- Concentrating on other pertinent issues first e.g. housing
- A lack of knowledge about what was available about what was available at the time
Of those who did receive help, they accessed counsellors or support from Victim Support, Child and Family Centres or the Refuge. Requests were made for counselling for the children that did not receive help.