From Despair to Repair...? Analysis - The Relationship
From Despair to Repair...?
Analysis - The Relationship
Nearly all (98%) of the participants were no longer in the abusive relationship. 2% of the sample was still in the abusive relationship. 3% had been in more than one abusive relationship. The time period since victims had left the relationship varied from a matter of weeks or months, up to 23 years. The majority had left the relationship within the last 2 years and in particular, in the last few weeks or months preceding the research.
" I felt that if I had stayed, I would eventually be murdered"
The perpetrator of the abuse was significantly a male partner that they had/did live with. Other perpetrators included parents, stepparents, children or siblings. The average age of the perpetrator when the abuse first started was 29 years. Their ages ranged from 13 years to 85 years.
The time period within which they had experienced the abuse ranged from a matter of weeks to 60 years. A number of participants had experienced the abuse after pregnancy.
The type of abuse suffered by the participants was mainly emotional and physical. Other forms of abuse identified included threatening behaviour to others, sexual abuse, financial control and isolation from friends, family and work. The majority of respondents had suffered more than one type of abuse.
"He came home drunk again, music blaring, abusive he kept the kids up all night on purpose. A switch in my head clicked I'd had enough, That was it - he wasn't doing that to my kids.
Related Violence
In 71% of cases the perpetrator had been abusive to others, in particular to other family members or friends.
Some participants disclosed that they themselves had been abused at a young age. 16% mentioned in the interview that they had suffered abuse as a child. Compared to 49% of participants who disclosed that they were aware that the perpetrator lived in an abusive household when they were younger (this includes male and female perpetrators), others had their suspicions. This question was not included in the research, although a high percentage did disclose this information. It may be that the percentage of both perpetrator and participant that have lived in an abusive household could be even higher.
Who did you tell about the abuse?
The majority of the participants had told a relative or friend. Several had reported that they spoke to their GP who was generally supportive although not well informed about options available to them.
Just over half (55%) of participants were not in contact with the perpetrator. Of the, 45% of participants that had remained in contact with the perpetrator they did so due to children, grandchildren, and property. In addition, in some cases the contact was unwanted, some of which was classed as harassment.
The majority of the participants (63%) had tried to leave the relationship before.
The reasons behind why they have left on this occasion included:
- He attempted to rape me
- The violence had escalated
- Perpetrator had an affair
- We were asked to leave
- It was the 'final straw'
- Had somewhere to escape to this time
- For the safety of the children
- The perpetrator was arrested
- Started to attack the children
Over 5% of the participants were either still in the abusive relationship or were in another abusive relationship.
When asked why they did not leave the relationship the reasons included:
- They still loved their partner
- Because of the children
- Due to a lack of finances
- Felt that if they tried to leave they would suffer more violence or upset.
When asked if there was anything that could have helped them leave the relationship. The only reason cited was financial support that may have assisted them leaving.
There were mixed answers as to whether the perpetrator was under the influence of alcohol or drugs when committing the abuse. 70% of participants said that the perpetrator was under the influence of alcohol or sometimes under the influence when committing the abuse. 25% said that the perpetrator was under the influence of drugs or sometimes under the influence when committing the abuse and 32% of the perpetrators were not known to be using drugs at any time during the abuse.
Drugs used by the perpetrator included:
- Cannabis
- Heroin
- Steroids
- Prescription treatments
1 perpetrator used drugs on the children before committing sexual acts on them