Emotional Health and Wellbeing
Emotional Health and Wellbeing
Your Emotional Wellbeing
Challenging thinking errors
How you perceive events can have a big impact on the way you feel. Learning how to respond to different situations can help you assess the appropriateness of your response and look at alternative ways of thinking about situations.
Below are some examples of common thinking errors along with some suggestions as to how you might challenge them and train yourself into a more positive way of thinking.
Focussing on the negative/discounting the positive
Instead of keeping events in perspective you either focus only on the negative - things are always going wrong or completely ignore the positive. E.g. My manager is only giving me positive feedback to be nice, she doesn’t really think that.
Challenge:
Consider the whole picture and try to think about all the things in your life that are going right rather than concentrating on the things that are going wrong. If you are given a compliment try to take it at face value
Black and white thinking
Black and white thinking refers to when you see everything in terms of good and bad. If you have failed one exam, you see yourself as a total failure or if you don’t look like a model you must be unattractive
Challenge:
Try to look at situations in shades of grey instead! Ask yourself, am I taking an extreme view? How else can I think about the situation? You might have failed one exam but that doesn’t make you a failure or mean that you won’t pass future exams.
Magnifying or ‘awfulising’
When things go wrong, you blow things out of proportion and imagine the consequences will be disastrous.
Challenge:
In this situation try to distance yourself from the situation and ask yourself:
- What’s the worst and best thing that can happen?
- What’s the best thing that can happen?
- What’s most likely to happen?
- Will this matter in five years time?
Mind-reading
In mind-reading mode we assume that others are focussed on our faults and weaknesses. But this is often wrong!
Challenge:
Challenge your assumptions by asking yourself what evidence you have to make you think this way? How do I know what people are really thinking?
Whenever you are feeling negative try to become aware of your thoughts and challenge them. You might find that the more you challenge your negative self talk, the easier you’ll find it easier to feel more positive, less stressed and be in control of difficult circumstances as and when they arise.
Life Management
The world we live in is constantly changing, placing a range of demands and pressures on our lives both inside and outside of work. Although we may not be able to control these pressures ourselves, we can learn how to manage them better.
Feeling overwhelmed by the amount of things you have to do may leave you feeling stressed and anxious. Stress can be described as your body’s response to the demands place upon it. Not all stress is negative, a small amount can be good for you to kick start your day and spur you on to achieve your goals. However, too much stress, can result in a wide range of health problems including: headaches, stomach upsets, high blood pressure and in some circumstances heart disease. It can create feelings of anger, distrust, anxiety, hopelessness and fear, which can impact on relationships with family, friends and work colleagues.
Recognising that you might be experiencing stress and why is the most important step in dealing with it in a positive way. After all, you need to determine what is causing you to feel stressed and/or anxious (sometimes known as stressors), before you can start to work out a plan for reducing stress.
Signs & Symptoms
The signs and symptoms of stress can be broken down into four main categories, lets explore each one by one.
- Aaaaarrrggh! Are you feeling irritable, snappy, flustered or angry? These are just some of the behavioural signs that people display when they experience stress.
- A shift in the way you think about yourself in a negative way, lack of self-esteem or confidence are cognitive warning signs.
- Changes in routine habits like problems with sleeping, eating too much or too little or increased consumption of caffeine or alcohol are also symptoms of stress.
- Finally, physical symptoms like headaches, back pain or worsening of skin conditions can also alert you to the fact that you’re under stress.
It is important to remember that stress is very individual and therefore the signs and symptoms will vary from person to person. The signs of stress/distress will be different for the person in distress than for those around them. In view of this it can be helpful to find someone you trust a friend, colleague or relative who can alert you to your symptoms before you can. You can then put some stress busting strategies into place sooner rather than later.
Take control, feel calmer, and relax
It is not always possible to control the situation that is causing you stress. However what can help to make you feel in more control is being able to manage your time accordingly to achieve what’s important to you. How many times have you felt yourself saying there’s not enough hours in the day? Well below are some tips to help you make the most of the time you have.
Examine where you spend your time
By listing where you actually spend your time you can think about what is really important to you or urgent, or not so important and prioritise your life accordingly. Try doing this over the course of a week writing down where your time has been spent each day. You might be surprised by the results.
Once you know where your time has gone each day categorising tasks and pressures can help you clarify where you spend time and help you re-organise yourself so you spend time doing the things that really matter. And remember quiet or downtimes such as sleep and relaxation activities are not unproductive they are vital for your wellbeing.
Identify what needs to be done
Set some time aside to identify what you want or need to achieve. Whether its work or home you need to identify each item, task or project that you need to do something about whether it is now, shortly or at some point in the future.
Different ways of identifying and planning tasks work for different people so use what works well for you. Here are some ideas to get you started:
- To do lists can be very helpful and you will feel a real sense of achievement when you start to cross things off the list.
- Using a computer program or creating your own planning file may work for you.
- Use of a calendar or diary may help you to set aside specific blocks of time to complete tasks and assist you to plan ahead.
Moving Forward
Now for the next step, moving forward. Again, you need to think about what works well for you. You could:
Look for fast fixes. Ask yourself if there is anything on your list that could be completed in less than 10 minutes? It might be a quick phone call, posting a letter or sending an email. If so, do it there and then. Setting time aside to complete smaller tasks will mean that they won’t build up and become unmanageable.
- Consider whether someone else can do anything. You may think you have got to complete a certain task but does it really have to be you. A work colleague might have some capacity to help. Your partner could pay that bill and perhaps your kids could help around the house! Delegating tasks is a great way of freeing up some time for you to concentrate on the things you really have to do.
- Create a tidy environment. Having an organised home or workspace really helps you feel in control and organised. File paperwork/bills where they can be easily traced and keep keys or glasses in the same place to minimise time spent on trying to find them.
- Note important dates. If anything on your list needs to be done at a certain time on a specific day write it in your calendar or diary and block out the time to do it. It may be to post a birthday card or pay a bill, whatever it is make a habit of checking your diary/calendar in advance so you know what you need to do each week and/or morning.
- Energise yourself. If you feel good then you are likely to be twice as productive then if your feeling under the weather. Getting enough sleep, exercise and consuming a balanced diet all contribute to how effective you are.
- Plan your projects. If you’ve worked through the tips above the tasks likely to still be on your list will be project based involving you to do more than one thing to complete them. Think about each one and consider the next steps you will need to take to complete it. Once you’ve written these down for each project you might want to group them under headings like phone calls, finances or by person. Once you have made progress on a task, cross it off your list and write down what the next step is towards completing the project.
- When to do things. Examine your list and think about when you need to get each task completed, that way you can prioritise accordingly so the most urgent tasks get completed first. Be practical and trust your own judgement, you might want to number your list or arrange them in order of importance whatever works best for you.
What’s important is for you to be realistic about what you can achieve and when based upon the time and energy you have available. If you’re unfocussed towards the end of the day then this probably isn’t the best time to make an important phone call. Instead use this time to catch up on some reading or emails. If emails are terrorising your working day why not try checking them twice a day in the morning and afternoon, instead of flitting to and from your inbox. You might be surprised by the amount of work you get done in your email free time!
If you don’t achieve everything you’d hoped throughout the day or week then make these tasks a priority for the next week. If you are running late for a deadline at work, tell your manager in advance so a solution can be found – remember there might be someone who can help you with some of the tasks.
Take stock of your achievements! Focus on what you have achieved rather than what you haven’t. Organising your current tasks so that they are more manageable will leave you with extra brain power to think about things clearly, feel, calmer and more relaxed. Remember no plan absolutely positively guarantees instant success but you are in control. Set aside time to re-evaluate your goals so you can continue to close the gap between what’s most important to you and how you spend your time. Remember to take time to celebrate your achievements!
Relaxation Techniques
Take Time Out!
No matter how busy you are it’s important to take some time out. After all, sometimes you can get more done by taking a break and going back to the situation once you’ve calmed down. Techniques for relaxation are very personal. What works for one person might not work for another but below you’ll find a broad range of advice and hopefully something for you.
Change your scenery
Moments of peace and quiet or longer periods of relaxation like holidays are all great approaches to stress. Of course this sort of complete relaxation or inaction isn’t always possible especially for longer periods of time.
If colleagues around you are feeling under pressure this may impact on the way you feel at work. Leaving your desk at work to make tea, or get water is often enough time to calm down and relax.
Taking the dog for a brisk walk, or just simply getting outside can really help your mind to relax making your immediate problems seem farther away.
Meditation
Meditation is a way of focussing on deeper thoughts and feelings and is concerned with calming the mind – great for dealing with exams and stressful environments.
To meditate you need a quiet place and a cushion to sit on so that you can sit in a position that you can hold for at least 15 minutes. Start by concentrating on your breathing, this conscious effort to focus on your breathing means that you can begin to take your mind off the things that might be concerning you. Gradually, with the repeated goal of clearing your mind you will feel a sense of calmness and wellbeing.
Deep breathing
A simple technique to relax. Start by taking each breath down to through your chest into your diaphragm, before filling your chest by letting your ribs expand and upper chest by allowing your shoulders to lift slightly. If you pause for a count of one or two at the end of the in breath and out breath, it can really slow your heart rate down and help you feel more relaxed.
Massage
Massage can be a great tension reliever especially if you happen to have a willing and competent pair of hands handy. If not and you’ve no spare cash to splash out on a professional massage a tennis ball can work wonders. Simply, rolling one around under a bare foot gets to all those reflexology pressure points and can make your feet feel fab!
Visualisation
Visualisation or guided imagery is a form of self-hypnosis. Positive suggestion is used to release negative self-image, assist in creating and achieving goals, and as a natural way to relieve physical, mental and emotional stress. It's simple, low-tech and effective: all you need is your imagination and a few minutes to yourself. You can learn the secrets of visualisation and use them at any time of the day. All you need is five minutes to yourself.
First find somewhere you won’t be disturbed and feel comfortable. Begin by closing your eyes and taking deep, measured breaths. Imagine that you are in beautiful surroundings - either a place you have visited or a place you conjure up from your imagination. Focus on bringing all the elements of the scene to life: the colours you see, the sounds you hear, the smells you detect, the aromas and taste. How does your body feel with whatever it's doing in your special place? Is it warm or cool? Are you alone or with others? Bring the images into focus and try to “stay in the scene” for at least five minutes.
Practice this exercise for a few minutes every day to take time out, or use whenever you feel stressed or need to relax.
Exercise
When you exercise you release endorphins into the brain. Endorphins are hormones that can act as painkillers but can also trigger feelings of revitalisation at the end of a workout. Research has shown that exercising can relieve stress, reduce feelings of depression and anxiety and generally improve your psychological wellbeing. In practical terms after a long run or relaxing swim your mind can feel blissfully empty of everything for once instead of that growing to do list.
Long Soaks
Spending time soaking in the bath is a great way to take some time out. Place a number of candles around you – as long as they are fitted safely. Scented bubbles, cosmetic treats and essential oils can all enhance your experience. Scents of lavender are especially good for aiding sleep and relaxation.
Why is sleep important?
Getting enough sleep is important for your health and wellbeing. A lack of sleep can have a powerful effect on your performance during the day including; your memory, ability to concentrate, thinking and the way you feel.
Experts recommend that adults get around 8 hours sleep per day to help us function optimally. Recent research has even shown a link between not getting enough sleep and a variety of serious health problems like obesity, diabetes, hypertension and depression.
Sleep, Better, Live Better. Some tips to help you get a good nights rest!
Keep regular hours
Going to bed and getting up at roughly the same time, all the time, will help programme your body into a regular sleep pattern. Helping you to get to sleep at bedtime and awake refreshed in the morning.
Create a blissful bedroom
Creating the right environment is key to ensuring you get a deep restful nights sleep. Your bedroom should be as dark and quiet as possible and be neither too hot nor cold. Scented pillow sprays or washing conditioner can also help to make you feel more comfortable. Recent studies have now evidenced that lavender produces calming, soothing and sedative effects.
Investing in a comfortable and supportive bed is also important. Manufacturers and chiropractors recommend you replace your mattress around every 10 to 13 years. If your bed is on a sprung base, you should plan to replace it every 12 or 13 years. A mattress on an unsprung base (including fixed-slat bases) should last about 10 years.
Take more exercise
Regular, moderate exercise such as swimming or walking can help relieve the day's stresses and strains. But not too close too bedtime or it may keep you awake!
Cut down on stimulants
Consuming too many stimulants such as caffeine in tea or coffee especially in the evening can interfere with body’s ability to fall asleep and can prevent deep sleep. Instead why not try a hot milky drink or a calming herbal tea.
Too much food or alcohol, especially late at night, can play havoc with sleep patterns. You may feel that alcohol helps you to fall asleep initially, but it will interrupt your sleep later on in the night. And finally don't smoke. Yes, it's bad for sleep, too! Research suggests that smokers take longer to fall asleep, wake up more often and experience more sleep disruption.
Try to relax
Take some time to relax before going to bed, reading a book, soaking in a bubble bath or listening to your favourite music can all help you to relax. If things play on your mind try to deal with them by making a list of things to be tackled the next day.
If you can't sleep, don't lie there worrying about it. Get up and do something you find relaxing until you feel sleepy again - then go back to bed.